Valve writer Erik Wolpaw has had too much cake, and like any little boy with a sugar-induced tummy ache, he’s letting everyone know.

As one of the primary writers of Portal, Wolpaw told Gamasutra he’s fed up with the amount of three-year-old jokes spawned by his genius literary and gaming talent.

“If you thought you were sick of the memes, I was sick of it way ahead of you,” Wolpaw said. “For instance, cake. I’ve had enough cake jokes.”

Well if that doesn’t just take the cake.

According to Wolpaw, Portal 2 will steer clear of any rehashed Portal jokes, but the game’s icing on the cake will lie in its classic style of humor and inclusion of essential characters.

“The cubes are in there because they’re a gameplay element, and obviously, GLaDOS is back, but there’s a bunch of new gameplay and we want to tell an interesting new story,” he said.

Wolpaw really is the (ice) cream (cake) of the crop when it comes to Valve-style writing, and we can expect plenty of fresh jokes and annoying memes to come out of Portal 2.

“We didn’t jettison everything, but I absolutely do not want to try and resurrect a three-year-old meme. That seems like it would be kind of sad,” Wolpaw said, and to really cake it on, added, “It’s not a good idea.”

It seems that Wolpaw loves hating cake like a fat kid loves cake, though I would personally be surprised if the new Portal doesn’t at least mention any of its classic memes. Like “Who’s on first?,” Portal jokes are a core element of gaming and nerd culture. If you get it, you’re golden. If not, you’d better buy some shampoo, put down the Mountain Dew Code Red and start working out, because you’re not one of us.

As for Wolpaw, he was the man who created the jokes and it is his right to say when they’ve gone too far, but to claim that including a slice of delicious cake in the background of the Aperture Science lab would be “sad” seems overkill. I mean, what does he want for speaking out about his self-hatred? A medal? A cookie? Some cake?

Too bad for him, THE CAKE IS A LIE.

Eat it, Wolpaw.

Several weeks after the announcement of Apple’s new iPad there has been a lot of talk regarding the presence of the new device and how it will impact the gaming industry (if at all).  Some sites have gone so far as to blatantly make fun of the device (not that it doesn’t necessarily warrant it) but after having some time to let it all soak in, I thought it would be good to put things in perspective and see what the EBA Community thinks about the matter.  Not to single out Kotaku (even though I will with Example 1 and Example 2), but it seems to me that some of the information being put out there for gamers is not being properly put into perspective.  After all, this is Apple, a HUGE company, and while hardcore gamers might not feel the impact directly, publishers and developers dedicating time/resources to the platform means that gamers will most likely be impacted in some shape, way, or form. So, let’s take a couple swigs of the ‘ole spirits and discuss, shall we?
Read the rest of this entry…

Anticipation/hype for BioWare’s Mass Effect 2 is hitting an all-time high right now as we near the game’s release in just a few short weeks. Counting myself among the pumped, I noticed an interesting story over on Joystiq (via IGN) where Mass Effect Project Manager Casey Hudson went on the record stating that work on Mass Effect 3 is already underway and that the storied RPG developer is looking to make a “fairly short turnaround” in terms of the third installment’s release.

Obviously, it’s no surprise that work on ME3 has already commenced and the “short turnaround” thing s can mean pretty much anything, especially when you consider that it’s been over two years between the original Mass Effect and the soon-to-be-released sequel, but here’s my question; Is BioWare rushing this franchise along now that it’s gained notoriety and backing from EA? Is one of gaming’s most valuable IPs being treated more like a “Film” than a “Game”? Honestly, I don’t know, but there’s two ways of looking at this…

First, if you think of Mass Effect like a feature film from the BioWare/EA perspective, then you would certainly WANT to get the third and final installment out relatively quick to capitalize on the hype and generate as much interest/sales as possible. It’s like the Lord of the Rings flicks or something…keep em’ coming…keep milking that IP…Secondly, you can think of this from a different perspective…The Mass Effect franchise as what it is…a GAMING franchise. Unlike films, Mass Effect 2 could be heavily supported by DLC and a consistent stream of content to enhance/grow the world, characters, and story while seeing what gamers respond well to. After all, BioWare has already adopted this model with it’s recently-released Dragon Age franchise. Capitalizing on the opportunity to maintain steady interest while also gathering player feedback, a year or two of DLC could help shape the story/characters for the third and final installment (the plot of which is no doubt already written, but whose extraneous factors could still be refined). This is something you can’t really accomplish in the realm of films and an aspect of the ever important creator/player relationship that makes gaming so unique. The DLC support for the original Mass Effect was pitiful and I’d really like to see fans get what they crave/deserve with the sequel. Hell, new races, worlds, etc. can be introduced and through steady feedback, BioWare can offer some “fan service” by letting its community shape some of the content in the climactic conclusion.

So, there’s no real “news” here, but it’s interesting to discuss. Should BioWare focus on treating the Mass Effect IP like a “film” or a “game”. Obviously, I’m hoping that BioWare will attempt to conjure up new and innovative ways of progressing a valuable franchise like Mass Effect while taking into account the options afforded by the medium itself. I certainly don’t want Mass Effect 3 rushed along simply to get it out within the “hype” window, but I also don’t want to wait 3 full years for a true sequel. What do you all think? What would you like to see from BioWare/Mass Effect. Let us know in the comments below.

My fellow Axeheads, today I am taking time out of my assignment filled week to bring an issue to light that needs to be address…..hate.  No I’m not talking about kitten punters or the angry neighbor who yells at kids from his porch.  I’m talking about gaming discrimination, the hate that gets spread from forum to forum, from comment box to comment box on every gaming site in existence where certain gamers feel the need to “diss” consoles and games for the sake of professing their love for their favorite console and game.  Everyone knows what I’m talking about and it makes every knowledgeable gamer’s blood boil.  It’s immature, annoying and creating a rift in the gaming community that should not be there.
Read the rest of this entry…

My fellow Axeheads, today I am taking time out of my assignment filled week to bring an issue to light that needs to be address…..hate.  No I’m not talking about kitten punters or the angry neighbor who yells at kids from his porch.  I’m talking about gaming discrimination, the hate that gets spread from forum to forum, from comment box to comment box on every gaming site in existence where certain gamers feel the need to “diss” consoles and games for the sake of professing their love for their favorite console and game.  Everyone knows what I’m talking about and it makes every knowledgeable gamer’s blood boil.  It’s immature, annoying and creating a rift in the gaming community that should not be there.
Read the rest of this entry…

Congratulations Sony, it takes a lot of work to set back an entire medium of distributing games but it appears if you don’t, you’re taking good strides to.

It’s common sense that a downloadable game is cheaper than distributing a game by retail, after all publishers don’t have to deal with packaging or shipping cost.  So therefore it is expected that downloading a game should be cheaper for the buyer then going to the store and grabbing the box.  Sony Computer Entertainment America apparently disagrees and as such Persona and Gran Turismo start off the trend by being priced equally to their downloadable counterparts at $39.99.

Seeing this caused my bullsh*t alarm to go off like a rocket strapped to a gazelle.  How is it possible to justify this?  A PSP Go owner not only doesn’t get the box with the instruction manual or any other goodies that the publisher or the retail store has thrown in (*cough* Gamestop *cough*) but has to pay the same price as well?  With this knowledge it’s hard for a sensible gamer to justify picking up a PSP Go over a PSP 3000.

Read the rest of this entry…

While looking through the comments from the last Skirmish of EpicBattleCry, I came across a video Battle Cry posted by CrimsonGorilla. He talks about former LucasArts president Jim Ward, who resigned from that position early last year. Mr. Ward is going into politics and recently announced that he will be seeking election as a Congressional Representative for Arizona’s 5th district.

CrimsonGorilla missed the cutoff for the new Skirmish, as we’d already wrapped recording when he posted his vid,  but it got me thinking about the possibility of seeing a Congressman who may actually support the video game industry as opposed to just using it as a punching bag.

Hit the jump to see my video response and check out the EpicBattleAxe YouTube channel for more insight from the EBC crew.

Read the rest of this entry…

Remember when Sony pulled backwards compatibility from the PS3 for basically no reason?  Remember feeling like the kid who was promised a toy car but got socks even though they had been good all year?  Well, Sony doesn’t want that to happen and has told PS3 owners they will have no toy car to look forward to at all.

In a recent Q&A with Ars Technica, one of the questions was “Do we need to stop yapping about backwards compatibility?” to which Sony’s Director of Hardware Marketing John Koller replied:

“It’s not coming back, so let me put that on the table.  It’s not as big as a purchase intent driver as you may be hearing.  We’ve got a substantial line-up of titles on the PS3; most people are buying the PS3 for PS3 games.  They’re buying it for PS3 games and Blu-ray movies.”

So, there you go PS3 owners, straight from the horse’s mouth.  Apparently Mr. Koller thinks that gamers LIKE spending $600+ on their PS2 collection then trading in their PS2 to afford that Goliath of a system and THEN finding out backwards compatibility is gone for no real reason; thus having their precious PS2 collection collect dust in the corner because of broken promises.  Well, at least Sony aren’t being tools and teasing us with the idea anymore, they’re just being dicks and scrapping the idea all together! That’s just my humble opinion of course, but we wanna know what you all think as well. Are you as passionate about backwards compatibility or is it really not that important at all like Koller says? Hmmm, sounds like a forum topic to me!

Source

When the Dragon Age Origins Collector’s Edition was announced I was reading through the press release and this caught my eye:

The Stone Prisoner is available to original purchasers of new copies of Dragon Age: Origins at no additional cost. The Stone Prisoner can also be purchased separately for $15.

Have developers finally had enough of  the used game monopoly GameStop has used to rule the gaming retail market while taking money away from the people who have dedicated the long months to develop the title?  DUH wouldn’t you!?

Read the rest of this entry…

One of my good buddies and I have been playing sports games together for years. In fact, the very first conversation we ever had was about a sports videogame (and our shared love thereof) which spawned a conversation about sports in general and thusly established a common ground for us to build our friendship on. So, all these years later, we still discuss the current crop of sports titles and try to make time to PWN one another or others online (he’s since moved away…). Yesterday I sent him an email inquiring about his interest in picking up Madden NFL 10. The game features a sweet new online franchise mode that will hopefully deliver a rich and entertaining experience to football fans of the hardcore variety. I got an interesting reply from him this morning, which I thought I’d share with you here on the ‘Axe…
Read the rest of this entry…