List of thoughts while watching Resident Evil: Retribution

(This isn't meant to read like an article, just me jotting down thoughts while I watch.spoilery.)

My thoughts during the Resident Evil: Retribution movie:
Oh i totally need to download the soundtrack.
Now everyone in umbrella is a cross between HUNK and the trench coat veteran rangers from fallout... I can live with that.
Eugh, plagas, why does T-virus have to have so much plagas in it now?
Ew, don't remind me about T-virus octowesker
There better be an explanation for this suburbia scene
Wow they really love that plagas mouth thing
The waking up in umbrella facilities thing is still always really cool.
Eugh, umbrella irises? Show some restraint.
Oh cool, it's canadian tokyo again.
Hey, they actually made Ada Pretty Cool.
Wesker's outfits shouldn't make him look like he has manboobs.
wait leon doesn't shave anymore?
FUCK YEAH BARRY
Looks like they dropped a few names of the guys who always die, they're gonna die.
Hey, it's that guy who acts like HUNK.
Hey, they actually have plagas... they're like soviet zombies that carry guns and still ride motorbikes now...
So wait, Leon vs Chainsaw guy is the iconic matchup, and someone else just kills it before he even fights it?
Wow Leon's team spent a lot of time in that one area.
Ada killing people with the grapple gun? isn't it traditionally something more elaborate than punching the line right through someone's chest?
Big licker... eh.
Wow it took Leon and Barry a long time to think of shooting from the back of the car.
The story is pretty eh, but there's a lot of callbacks to the RE3/UC kind of story they had going, it's okay so far.
The 3D and the music is really good. Other stuff is okay or bad, but those are really good.
Luthor's gonna die. Least they avoided the black guy dies first trope, but he's totally gonna die.
Wow Jill really sucks here compared to RE5. Why so much standing still with SMGs akimbo? Did she ever dual wield in RE5? And why does she never zip up the wetsuit to protect her obvious glowing red weakspot?
Leon, when did you become such a "greater good" hardass?
FUCK YES BARRY HAS HIS MAGNUM
okay now the big licker going king kong with the death girl is a little much
Monsters inc looking clone dispenser rack was a bit much
Leon's really been useless against the plagas he spent a whole game fighting, and he hasn't even done his famous roundhouse kick on anyone. plus his fringe is all wrong.
Okay, the whole think it's over but it's not... ope it's not a crappy cliffhanger like last time.
Wait, plagas works like progenitor now? Why does she have that and not wesker?
Okay, this fight is way over choreographed, but it's original, not a bad copy of the game so that's and improvement.
Wow, is EVERYONE from the game's completely useless?
Okay, so Leon's slow motion knife tricks were the shit in RE4, now it just gets knocked away?
She's kicking their asses a little too much too long, but it's okay I guess.
Resident evil has so many great melee attacks, why not reference one or two of Leon's in this really drawn out fistfight?
Wow, it took her a LONG time to think of go for the big red spider on her chest.
Yup, Luthor's dead. Least he died last. That's a little better.
See, there's so much cools tuff Leon and Ada can do in the games that's being completely ignored here.
For gods sake Leon, you're not knocked out and you should be perfectly capable of handling that, stand up faster.
Okay, why does Alice have to be the only one who can handle anything?
Why couldn't Leon shoot the ice?
Well that was climactic I guess, some nice shots and camerawork...
Okay, at least this cliffhangar is setting up the next thing instead of just tailing off like last time.
No, wesker. Stop sucking.
RE5 stole wesker's "hops" from the X-men films. Why do the RE films have their own, worse effect?
The white house? Pretty hoaky...
Eh... I guess that's an okay setup for a sequel. Decent action film at least...
Dubstep in the credits? *facepalm*

Okay, let's go watch that Silent Hill film trailer again.

Views: 140

Comment by Josh Schrier on September 29, 2012 at 6:11pm

I liked the movie a lot, but the dialogue was atrocious. 

Comment by Rowan - AzureCantabile on September 29, 2012 at 6:50pm

It was, Leon completely lost his personality and the actor had trouble keeping up an American accent. His voice actually sounded kinda close to the voice actor at times. Shame none of his lines seemed to fit Leon and he wasn't making corny one-liners anymore.

Comment by Terrorzone666 on September 30, 2012 at 11:13am

I still haven´t watched Apocalypse.. I guess i have to watch that one before i watch Retribution...

Comment by Rowan - AzureCantabile on September 30, 2012 at 1:08pm

You only maybe have to watch afterlife, but it's barely important. ABSOLUTELY DO NOT WATCH APOCALYPSE. It's a new level of shit, so much that the first half hour of afterlife is almost exclsuively retconning EVERYTHING that happened in apocalypse, except the apocalypse itself. tl;dr T-Virus escaped raccoon city and went everywhere. You now know the story of apocalypse.

Comment by Roburt on September 30, 2012 at 11:58pm

Red Letter Media had just put up a review of their marathon of the entire Resident Evil movie series. It's pretty great.

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