I'm visiting my parents over Easter, and I come across a few old computer magazines I bought as a youngin. As I read, memories wash over me.
I remember alienation and loneliness, and not in a literal sense. I was never bullied or pushed aside. What I mean is being into something no one else seemed to appreciate.
I bought these magazines and had no one to talk about it to.
I never owned a video-game console, but I had friends who did. So I spent time at their place and had to persuade them to play Nintendo and C64, not to do other meaningless things like actually playing.
This feeling of alienation has followed me throughout my life, and now as a 36 year old gamer, friends still don't share my enthusiasm. (at least not in my own age group)
This has ultimately made me bitter, and I feel jealous of kids today. In my days video games were something losers were interested in, and I suddenly realized maybe this is why I’m so sceptical of the state of the state the video game industry is in.
I feel as if it’s something you have to endure and fight for. And it seems so easy nowadays.
I know this is wrong and blablabla… But that’s just the way I feel. It’s like when my younger brother wanted to get alcohol.
When I was young, I had to work for that shit. Faking my fathers signature, asking friends and all out begging. He just asks me. SO UNFAIR!
Today it seems like everyone plays video games, and somewhere deep in my black heart. I do feel it was better in the good ol’ days. Mostly because it was something I struggled with and had to earn.
(This is for u Lorin)