I'm visiting my parents over Easter, and I come across a few old computer magazines I bought as a youngin. As I read, memories wash over me.
I remember alienation and loneliness, and not in a literal sense. I was never bullied or pushed aside. What I mean is being into something no one else seemed to appreciate.

I bought these magazines and had no one to talk about it to.

I never owned a video-game console, but I had friends who did. So I spent time at their place and had to persuade them to play Nintendo and C64,  not to do other meaningless things like actually playing.

This feeling of alienation has followed me throughout my life, and now as a 36 year old gamer, friends still don't share my enthusiasm. (at least not in my own age group)

This has ultimately made me bitter, and I feel jealous of kids today. In my days video games were something losers were interested in, and I suddenly realized maybe this is why I’m so sceptical of the state of the state the video game industry is in.

I feel as if it’s something you have to endure and fight for. And it seems so easy nowadays.

I know this is wrong and blablabla… But that’s just the way I feel. It’s like when my younger brother wanted to get alcohol.

When I was young, I had to work for that shit. Faking my fathers signature, asking friends and all out begging. He just asks me. SO UNFAIR!

Today it seems like everyone plays video games, and somewhere deep in my black heart. I do feel it was better in the good ol’ days. Mostly because it was something I struggled with and had to earn.

Anyways. Good thing I have you good people in the axe head army! I’m a bit drunk. Cheers axeheads!

(This is for u Lorin)

Wow! look at those prints!

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Comment by Thor on April 21, 2014 at 12:04am

I'm 31 and i also have a lot of gaming magazines. Been buying the same magazine since 99. And i keep them beside my gaming corner on a shelf. Sometimes i open one of them and remember the old days when i used o play some of those games with friends. And AFAIK none of my friends game any more. They all got married and have children now.

IDK is it just nostalgia but i think people enjoyed games back in the 80's and 90's a lot more than they do these days. Market is over saturated and games have never before been so easy to come by. And yes. When you work hard for something,you appreciate it A LOT more. 

Comment by Tokyochuchu on April 22, 2014 at 11:19pm

My mother threw all my old video game magazines away when I moved out of the house. I had so many issues of CVG and Mean Machines. Worse still, a few years later during a spring clean, she threw away all my old Star Wars toys. I was collecting those fucking things, woman!!!

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